Hi, thanks for this and good reminders (the amount of times I have paid for peoples drinking habits by splitting the bill is ridiculous). I am very curious about "never ask someone for their salary".
"Usually, the people who ask are the people trying to gauge how they fare compared to you." Why is this a bad thing? I have tremendously benefited from people generously sharing their salary and the negotiation tactics behind it. If we want to close the Gender Pay Gap, don't we need to know what others are making? I think Glassdoor can only give a very rough estimate.
"If they want to tell you how much they make, then they’ll tell you" I would never just tell people how much I make, fearing I would come off as bragging. But I feel comfortable to say "Salary is a private topic for me that I don't want to share. Thanks for understanding." if I have the feeling someone is asking for ulterior motives. Shouldn't that be the boundary?
thanks for asking about salary negotiation! i hear you in that it is helpful to be transparent about finances, considering that i myself post about my numbers down to the cent on here. however, it is also important to acknowledge that there is a lot of stigma behind finances. instead of asking someone for their salary, i think a better way of approaching it would be to volunteer your salary up first, and if the other person feels comfortable, they could share, which would lead to a thoughtful conversation.
i've been in situations where i've been asked for my salary, and i know that i would feel so much more comfortable sharing if the other person shared theirs first before asking me for mine. boundary setting is also so important, so even though the other person shares their salary, you also are under no obligation to share it back! there are so many nuances in this situation and am really happy you brought this up!
I'm so secretive about my salary that I haven't even shared with family members - mostly because if they think you're barely making any money, they'll make fun of you or tell you that you can do better, and if you're making good money, they'll expect you to loan it to them at a moment's notice or criticize you for spending it frivolously. Just sharing your salary with anyone in general comes with weird biases or expectations.
I partially agree with paying for younger siblings and cousins only because I've had some people take advantage of the situation and always ask to go out and eat knowing that I'll pay for them. So I had to draw boundaries with family about this, especially if these "younger" family members have jobs.
Hi, thanks for this and good reminders (the amount of times I have paid for peoples drinking habits by splitting the bill is ridiculous). I am very curious about "never ask someone for their salary".
"Usually, the people who ask are the people trying to gauge how they fare compared to you." Why is this a bad thing? I have tremendously benefited from people generously sharing their salary and the negotiation tactics behind it. If we want to close the Gender Pay Gap, don't we need to know what others are making? I think Glassdoor can only give a very rough estimate.
"If they want to tell you how much they make, then they’ll tell you" I would never just tell people how much I make, fearing I would come off as bragging. But I feel comfortable to say "Salary is a private topic for me that I don't want to share. Thanks for understanding." if I have the feeling someone is asking for ulterior motives. Shouldn't that be the boundary?
Thanks for your thoughts on this.
thanks for asking about salary negotiation! i hear you in that it is helpful to be transparent about finances, considering that i myself post about my numbers down to the cent on here. however, it is also important to acknowledge that there is a lot of stigma behind finances. instead of asking someone for their salary, i think a better way of approaching it would be to volunteer your salary up first, and if the other person feels comfortable, they could share, which would lead to a thoughtful conversation.
i've been in situations where i've been asked for my salary, and i know that i would feel so much more comfortable sharing if the other person shared theirs first before asking me for mine. boundary setting is also so important, so even though the other person shares their salary, you also are under no obligation to share it back! there are so many nuances in this situation and am really happy you brought this up!
I'm so secretive about my salary that I haven't even shared with family members - mostly because if they think you're barely making any money, they'll make fun of you or tell you that you can do better, and if you're making good money, they'll expect you to loan it to them at a moment's notice or criticize you for spending it frivolously. Just sharing your salary with anyone in general comes with weird biases or expectations.
I partially agree with paying for younger siblings and cousins only because I've had some people take advantage of the situation and always ask to go out and eat knowing that I'll pay for them. So I had to draw boundaries with family about this, especially if these "younger" family members have jobs.